Learning to change gears

I'm not a mountain bike rider but the sizzler is. When we're on the trail and we come to a hill he changes gears in order to make it up. He changes gears to make it easier to get up that darn hill.
It's Monday. Mondays are really hard for my boy. Changing gears from the weekend to the school week is painful, for both of us. I just wish we could skip Mondays and all the struggle they bring. Last Monday is not one I want to repeat so today I thought, hmmmm, why not change gears? Let's switch it up! Why has it taken me so long to figure this out? I have no idea. Hard headed I guess.
So after he got his morning jobs done (taking forever) I said we're going out for some sunshine and exercise. He looked at me strangely and then skipped out the door.
I grabbed his faithful canine companion, Tigger. He got his bike and helmet and we loaded up. We headed to one of out favorite spots and set out on a 2.5 mile loop. He was riding, I was walking/running and Tig was sniffing, peeing then running up to meet us. Did I mention it is a gorgeous spring day? Rolling oak studded hills, the sound of the rushing river, sunshine, blue skies and an empty trail - oh my goodness, pure heaven.

Back home and he is reading, outside, on his swing. Love.

He was able to finish his "must do's" without any hulla baloo. He even did his math in the car on the way to an appointment, without any asking or cajoling. A successful day. Yay!
Now sometimes you have to do more than change gears. Sometimes you have to change course. The trick is to know when you need a minor adjustment and when life needs a major change. I can be pretty stubborn and don't like to change my course, if it isn't in my plan. But then God reminds me that it's not my plan but His I need to follow. Why do I always forget that?
Have you changed gears lately? Would love to hear from you!

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Maybe you've read the children's story "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst. Today I feel like Alexander. The sizzler won't do anything, well, anything I want him to do. It is frustrating and I feel like going back to bed or going to Australia.
These are the days I know he has ADHD. No question about it. He is falling out of his chair, flailing about, can't focus, singing, shouting, throwing things, touching everything around him, literally bouncing off the walls and furniture. And then when I'm completely over the top frustrated he wants a "huggie"! It's really hard to give a hug to a kid you are ready to throttle. Nope, not feeling the love little sizzler!
These are the days I wonder why I am doing this. This is too hard. I can't do this!
These are the times when there is nothing I can do but turn to my Heavenly Father and cry out. I can't do this Lord! I just want to crawl into His lap and cry. "Please carry me through Lord" I pray.
You see The Lord has entrusted me with this child and He will give me the strength, grace and courage to continue. He never says he will take away the burden but that he will guide me through it. I can't run away to Australia. I can't avoid it. I must go through it, but not alone. I am so grateful that His grace is sufficient. I also have to remember that my little boy is struggling too. There are real reasons for his behavior that are out of his control. I must stay steady, loving and consistent. And when I blow it (ahem, like today) I can be washed clean and start anew. Praise God for that.

Doesn't get much better

Today was one one those days you hope comes back again, many times.

Sizzler science experiments

Painting sponges

And mommy art ........... make for a very good day indeed!

Did you see that?

My sizzler is extremely observant. He notices things. Things I don't see until he points them out. I love this about him.

Today we were on the way home from town (we live in the sticks) and stopped at one of our favorite farm stands to get some oranges. Now I have stopped here 100 times (well maybe not that many) in the last 15 years to buy mandarins and other local yummy stuff and never noticed what the sizzler saw today. There it is in the picture above. Can you tell what it is? Right away he says "mom, look it's an old truck" by golly it is son!

Now it's time for the close inspection. What is it? Is it a Ford? Model T? He has to know.

Here comes the farmer. He's an old timer, been here forever. The sizzler asks him what it is and where did he get it. It turns out it is a nurse rig from Southern California used to supply the spray trucks in the farm fields.

You don't say.

"Why is it in the bushes?" He inquires further. The farmer tells him he parked it there and the bushes grew over it.

"Ok" and he returns to his investigation of this oldie truck.

My sweet son loves antique stuff. Old trucks are a favorite. We are always on the look out for them. If we see one we point it out to each other then say "old truck bump" and we do knuckles together.
There are a few oldie trucks on our regular routes. When we get to them I have to remember to drive slow so he can get a good gander at them. So today I decided to stop to see two of our " friends".


For many years the sizzler and I have driven past these two trucks (they are close to each other on the same stretch of road) and slowed way down. I've gotten so used to it that I even do it sometimes when he's not with me. I appreciate that he's given me that. The gift of slowing down and taking a close look at what's around me.
You just never know what you might see.
Enjoy the journey!

You don't have to want to

My wise friend Craig gave me this line to use with the sizzler. I've been using it everyday since he shared this amazing bit of parenting advice at our Valentine's dinner.
When it's time for his "must do's" I often hear "I don't want to!" And now I have the perfect response:
"You don't have to want to!" I say as I smile my most loving, patient smile. "You just need to do it" as I continue to gaze at my awesome sizzler.
He doesn't usually respond with the same loving, patient smile and a resounding "ok mom!"
I get one of the following responses:

• "Nooooooo!" As he flops on the floor
• "Can I play angry birds?" Uh, no
• "I have to go to the bathroom" as he grabs he Lego ideas book and heads to the toilet and spends forever in there
• "What's your favorite deep sea creature?" Trying to distract me
• Or my favorite, "huggie" as he runs at me and gives me a super duper bear bug (kinda hard to resist)

Sizzlers are experts at avoiding work, especially if they have to write. Oh how my sizzler hates to write. He has convinced himself that he can't, that it's too hard, that something really bad will happen. But, he is getting better.

I have to remind myself that he is not torturing me on purpose, although sometimes it certainly feels like that.

There is hope though. Here and there I am getting the "ok" response and he gets going on what I asked him to do. When he first starting doing it I was a bit in shock. I had to hide my dropped jaw and surprised look. Oh, so he can do it! I was told not to fall into the trap of thinking that just because he did it once he can do it again.

Sizzlers are regularly irregular. You can't bank on anything. Every day is new and exciting, heck, from moment to moment I hardly know what to expect. Things can be going so well and then bam! He's upset and convinced he can't do something. It is a bit of a roller coaster ride. Weeeeee.......

On the flip side, my sizzler is the most loving and sensitive boy. As we were reading our Zoology book about pinnipeds this morning he got really upset. He was reading about the fur trade and how many seals were killed for their pelts. He could not finish the paragraph. He was angry. He was feeling very deeply about this so I finished the paragraph for him and told him how I see so much empathy in him for animals. That someday he will do great work and I wouldn't be surprised it if involved helping animals. His response:

"I'm going to be an ocean policeman!"

Awesome. Can't wait.

Where o where has she gone?

Holy smokes! I haven't blogged for several days. Where have I been?

Good question!

I've been exploring my creativity. Yep. I have. And it' been quite fun. I must say. And messy, very messy.

I blame it all on Mati Rose McDonough and Kelly Rae Roberts.

After my last attempt to have "art class" with the sizzler I realized that I had so much fun creating that I wanted more. So I looked around on the web and came across Mati and Kelly. I bought their books. Meanwhile, I set up a space to do art. That was super fun. I liked the idea of having a "studio" space. I collected all my artsy supplies and went to work. Then I lost my inspiration, and got busy, so the studio got dusty.

But on Tuesday, the day it snowed and the sizzler spent the afternoon wallowing in the joyous white fluff, my new art books arrived, oh boy!

I decided to cuddle up with a cup of tea and my new books.

I soon realized that I would need a bigger studio. This was amazing stuff and I was going to need to a lot of room to do this. So I moved the "studio" into the bedroom, in front of my big window, under my happy lights.

Mati's book is called Daring Adventures in Paint. Oh dear. I need to be daring. You see when I do art I usually have an idea of what I want the outcome to look like. She wanted me to forget that. Just start painting. Layer on the colors. Be bold. I did. I liked it. (Big grin)

I did start with a small canvas. Seemed safe.

Daring, ok, here I go..........orange, blue, pink, pistachio. Smear, smudge, scrape. Add a little here, a cute image there. Not too shabby. Kinda fun, sorta childish and playful. I like it!

The sizzler comes in and takes a look at my creation and says "why did you label the sail?"

Good feeling gone.

I work so hard to be positive with him, why can't he say something nice?

The thing is he just says the first thing that comes to mind. I must remember this. Do not take sizzler comments to heart.

So I carry on. I do not need his approval!

I will continue to be daring and bold and silly and have a darn good time doing it!

 

And it will get messy!

Oh, and if you are looking to get inspired to create watch Kelly's manifesto

One more thing.......

The really cool thing about this new endeavor is that I'm using my father in law's paints, brushes and canvases. He passed away in October of 2011. He spent the last 7 years of his life here on our property as our neighbor across the driveway. The sizzler spent the first 7 years of his life with his British grandparents right next door. Super special. Anyway, as I use grandad's supplies I feel a new connection to him. He painted in a wonderful impressionist style. Never too much green. More inspiration. Cheers Dad!

 

 

The amazing number boy

My older son, the one I affectionately call Big Bubba, loves numbers. Well, maybe he would disagree with that statement, but he is drawn to them and what he can do with them.
His favorite kind of numbers are statistics. Specifically, basketball stats.
When he was 9 he got interested in NBA. Not so much watching the games, although he did like that too, but he loved the numbers produced by the games. He would sit for hours and compute average points, assists and rebounds per game. He would create fantasy teams and have them "play" each other. Of course all this information was hand written in neat organized sections on lined paper. He had stacks and stacks of these papers. For Christmas we got him a book that had all the stats for every NBA player for an entire season. He used that book so much it fell apart. I had to 3 hole punch it and put it in a binder.

Today, at 17, 6'3" (and growing), he is a walking basketball encyclopedia. He could be one of those sports commentators and fit right in. Each morning I see him checking the stats online. It's like his morning coffee. Gotta have it first thing or the day just doesn't get off to a good start!
Recently, we had the privilege of attending an NBA game. I wanted to sit next to my bubba because he knows what's going on and can give me the background on all the players. Plus, I got to watch him in a state of pure joy. He was watching a live game and seeing the action that produces those numbers he loves so dearly. I think I watched him as much as I watched the game. He is quite entertaining.

The Big Bubba is in his element when he is immersed in basketball stats. It's his passion, his joy and possibly his future.
When he was younger and would spend hours working on stats, time was nothing. He had no idea so much time had passed. He was lost in his work. Adult friends would marvel at his interest and the free time he committed to it. To us it was "normal". That's what he loves to do, so he does it, a lot.
In his book The Element, Ken Robinson talks about being in this state of flow, or being "in the zone", He says:
"You begin to do something you love and the world slips away. Hours pass, and it feels like minutes. During this time you have been "in the zone." Those who have embraced the Element find themselves in this place regularly. This is not to suggest that they find every experience of doing the thing they love blissful, but they regularly have optimal experiences while doing these things, and they know they will again."
Oh, how I want that for my son!

His "team" is the Nicks - note the team colors on his braces :)