Feelings

I think my sizzler feels things more deeply, in fact, I know he does.
This morning he says "What's your most uncomfortable feeling?" Wow. I had to stop and think about that one. First, I was surprised at his question. That's some pretty deep thinking for an 8 year old. Then I wondered what he had been thinking about prior to the question. He had been lost in thought as we drive down the road.
After I thought about it I replied "feeling left out. What's yours ?"
"Being hot" my little guy confesses.
Now that one surprised me. I know he's very sensitive to light and heat but I didn't think he would say that. I thought he might say something about fear or being embarrassed. He was thinking about physical feelings and I was getting all emotional and internal.
So I suggested that when he grows up and choses a place to live it should be someplace that doesn't get hot. So he says "does it get hot at the beach?" And he reminded me that he will be living on his 100 acres by the ocean, so if he gets hot he can take a dip!

Oh yah, I forgot about that. He said the skipper and I could live there too. Can't wait!
What's your most uncomfortable feeling?

No more chicken nuggets!

The sizzler made a big decision last night at the dinner table. He was sitting with his dad eating some delicious crock pot Mexican chicken, rice and beans. Something about the chicken got him thinking about, well, chickens. Now he does know that chicken comes from the fluffy, pecking birds we have owned. He knows that bacon is from a pig, but, there is a difference being knowing and really understanding. Last night he reached a level of understanding. He declared himself a vegetarian. He did not eat the chicken on his plate, thank you very much, however, he did ask for more rice with cheese on top.
I'm not surprised he has made this decision. He loves animals dearly and never wants to harm them. He has toyed with the idea many times, but then bacon or sausage would be served and he would happily dive in. Bacon is divinity didn't ya know?
Maybe because we have chickens in the house now it pushed him over the edge. I wonder what he will do when we visit In-N-Out burger again. I will let him know that they have other options like grilled cheese or animal fries. I want to honor his decision and help him be successful as a new vegetarian, even if it means more work for me. That's what Mama's do for their kiddos, right?
So today as we approach lunchtime he reminds me not to make him chicken nuggets (which he happily ate yesterday) because he would not be eating them. Sigh. Chicken nuggets are so easy to make! Then he asks what sausage is made of and what about steak. I tell him and he says, well, I can still eat those because 1) I love them too much, and 2) cows are annoying and I don't really like them. Hmmm, interesting. We've never owned a cow but our neighbors have some. One of them is particularly noisy and the sizzler doesn't like noisy things (funny, cuz he's quite noisy ;)
Then he starts to think about dinner. The sizzler really likes to eat. Friday night is taco night at our house so he says that he will have his tacos without the meat. I tell him that he can have beans instead. He likes that idea.
Good thing the boy likes pasta, tea & cookies. I'm going to have to research some good kid friendly vegetarian recipes. Anybody got some good ones?

Chickee cuddles

There is chicken poop on my kitchen floor. I mention this to the sizzler and he says he dropped it there, by accident. So I say "well, if you dropped it there, why didn't you clean it up?"
His response: "I didn't know I dropped it there."
Really?!
Now, before you go judging me and my unclean house you must know that we have a new batch of baby chickens. Yep. We do. Five lovely little cheepers who eat and poop, a lot.

The fun part about getting our new babies is naming them. Our chickens are not for eating so they have to have a name! There's five in our family so we each got to name one. My sweet son named his little Araucana, Rosalina. I think that is a spectacular name for a chicken, don't you? El named hers Alice, Big Bubba named his Jed Dowell (after his friend, weird, I know, but it's better than the last time he named his Burnt Fries), the Skipper couldn't make up his mind but I think he's settled on Mr. Winkles. I named my precious baby, Lucille.
So, the other morning the sizzler and I were cuddling on the couch with our fuzzy friends and he had a great suggestion. He says "let's read some chicken stories!" Now those are lovely words to a bibliophile mama!
Yes! Go look for Chicken Sisters. Off he goes. Then I had a real proud mama moment. He brought back several stories along the theme of chickens, farms, etc. Oh, how I love it when things are thematic! And here's my boy picking out stories from our library on a theme. Sigh. Grin.

We took turns reading our chicken themed stories to our babies. The chicks were cuddled up in towels as we pet their heads. The sizzler and I snuggled under a cozy blanket. Pure bliss.

So how did the chicken poop get on my kitchen floor? Well, after this mornings chickee cuddle the sizzler went to dump the turd in the towel into the trash. I guess he missed.

Fish are friends

In the sizzler's world every living creature is a potential friend. A moth that slipped inside at night becomes his friend "mothy". The earthworm stuck on the sidewalk in a rainstorm becomes "wormy" and gets saved by the sizzler. I know they have become friends because the critter has a name. If it has a name then it's "somebody". Just like Dory in Finding Nemo when she finds her new "friend", squishy. Well, until it stings her, then it becomes "bad squishy".
I find it quite amusing that kids love to name things with the ending "ee". And usually the name describes who they are or what they look like. A brown dog becomes "browny" and a white rat becomes "Snowball".
So, I would like to introduce our two new fish friends, Rainbow and Redface.

I'm totally shocked that one of them is not named fishey. I guess it's a sign of maturity. I'll take it!
However, their names totally describe how they look. Rainbow is black, orange and white (not quite the colors of the rainbow, but...) and Redface has a big orange splotch on his head (awesome! I love redheads ;)
Now the thought that pops into my silly brain right now is "I'm so glad our parents don't use this naming process when we are born!" My girl would have been named "cone head", big bubba would have been "bruiser" (he seriously looked like he just came out of the boxing ring) and the sizzler, well, maybe "bloody mess" or "hungry"! I'm sure my mother would have named me "peaceful" or "angel face" ;)
Back to our fish friends, or, should I say, fish family members. I blame it all on homeschooling. In our Zoology book we are learning about swimming creatures and just finished the chapter on fish. At the end of each chapter there is an experiment. This one called for a goldfish. Goody. Another mouth to feed. So we got two! Hey, they were only 10 cents each. Except they needed a bowl, colored pebbles, decorations, food, drops for the water........ So 20 cents worth of fish cost me about 10 bucks. Not too bad.
Guess how long it took the sizzler to name 'em?
Yep, about 10 seconds. He looked at them pronounced them Rainbow (because he has lots of colors) and Redface, well, you know. I love that he has to give the justification for the names.
As soon as they had names he begins the conversation. That's what you do when you have a new friend, right? He talks to them all the way home from the feed store (that's about 30 minutes). He's telling them all about life at Appleby Farm. He thinks they will like it. These fish sure got lucky!
I did warn him that goldfish don't always live that long. Then he told me where we would bury them. Poor kid. He has said goodbye to a few animal friends. He suggested we bury them next to Penelope the rat. I told him we need 't make burial arrangements yet. He obviously hasn't heard about burial at sea.
Yesterday we let them settle into their new home and waited until today to perform the experiment. The sizzler loved watching them swim around. "Mom, look, they're by the finger sponges!" "Look, now they're pooping." Who needs TV!
The experiment was to hypothesize (yes, we use that word, we are scientists after all!) about how the behavior of the fish might change if the water temperature was warmer or colder. Poor Rainbow got selected to be in the experiment. We had learned that there is less oxygen in warm water so the little guy had to resort to some serious breathing in order to get enough oxygen in 80 degree water.

Writing his hypothesis

Reading to Redface while Rainbow is under the heat lamp

Taking the temperature reading

Then we had to plunge the water temperature down to 50 degrees. Now our little friend could breathe easier! It was quite a difference. In the warm water his respiration was about 210/minute then when the temperature dropped he was breathing about 108/ minute. It's pretty tricky counting the breaths of a goldfish!

I would have to say Rainbow has earned a new name, "good sport". Even though he didn't really have a choice in the matter he did perform like a trooper.

Now we just have to introduce sissy to our fish friends. She comes home for spring break today. I think she will love her new "brothers".

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Maybe you've read the children's story "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst. Today I feel like Alexander. The sizzler won't do anything, well, anything I want him to do. It is frustrating and I feel like going back to bed or going to Australia.
These are the days I know he has ADHD. No question about it. He is falling out of his chair, flailing about, can't focus, singing, shouting, throwing things, touching everything around him, literally bouncing off the walls and furniture. And then when I'm completely over the top frustrated he wants a "huggie"! It's really hard to give a hug to a kid you are ready to throttle. Nope, not feeling the love little sizzler!
These are the days I wonder why I am doing this. This is too hard. I can't do this!
These are the times when there is nothing I can do but turn to my Heavenly Father and cry out. I can't do this Lord! I just want to crawl into His lap and cry. "Please carry me through Lord" I pray.
You see The Lord has entrusted me with this child and He will give me the strength, grace and courage to continue. He never says he will take away the burden but that he will guide me through it. I can't run away to Australia. I can't avoid it. I must go through it, but not alone. I am so grateful that His grace is sufficient. I also have to remember that my little boy is struggling too. There are real reasons for his behavior that are out of his control. I must stay steady, loving and consistent. And when I blow it (ahem, like today) I can be washed clean and start anew. Praise God for that.

Did you see that?

My sizzler is extremely observant. He notices things. Things I don't see until he points them out. I love this about him.

Today we were on the way home from town (we live in the sticks) and stopped at one of our favorite farm stands to get some oranges. Now I have stopped here 100 times (well maybe not that many) in the last 15 years to buy mandarins and other local yummy stuff and never noticed what the sizzler saw today. There it is in the picture above. Can you tell what it is? Right away he says "mom, look it's an old truck" by golly it is son!

Now it's time for the close inspection. What is it? Is it a Ford? Model T? He has to know.

Here comes the farmer. He's an old timer, been here forever. The sizzler asks him what it is and where did he get it. It turns out it is a nurse rig from Southern California used to supply the spray trucks in the farm fields.

You don't say.

"Why is it in the bushes?" He inquires further. The farmer tells him he parked it there and the bushes grew over it.

"Ok" and he returns to his investigation of this oldie truck.

My sweet son loves antique stuff. Old trucks are a favorite. We are always on the look out for them. If we see one we point it out to each other then say "old truck bump" and we do knuckles together.
There are a few oldie trucks on our regular routes. When we get to them I have to remember to drive slow so he can get a good gander at them. So today I decided to stop to see two of our " friends".


For many years the sizzler and I have driven past these two trucks (they are close to each other on the same stretch of road) and slowed way down. I've gotten so used to it that I even do it sometimes when he's not with me. I appreciate that he's given me that. The gift of slowing down and taking a close look at what's around me.
You just never know what you might see.
Enjoy the journey!

School holiday? No way Jose!

Today is a school holiday. The beep of my phone reminded me at 8:15. Everyone is home. But don't tell the sizzler. He doesn't know and I don't want him to know because he can't have the day off of school.
Unfair! Mean!
You might be thinking those things but I know that if the sizzler gets too many days off (like more than two on the weekend) it so exponentially more difficult on the first day back in school. I know. I have lived it and lived to tell you that it is not worth the extra day off.
Mondays are hard enough. Getting back on track after a free wheelin weekend is hard for everyone, but extra hard for sizzlers. They get all comfy in their freedom. They don't want regimen and routine. But they need it. Their lives (and mine) depend on it.
So today I only had 3 things on his list of must do's. Reading, math and a wee bit of writing. That's it! Simple!
Well, not quite. Reading went fine. He is enjoying a good cuddle up with all of Oliver Jeffers picture books. Love. And sometimes he reads like this


But that's ok, he's reading!
Math also went swimmingly. Life of Fred (his math program) is a gift from God. It uses story to engage the sizzler. He loves story. There's a guy named Fred and he is the main character. In his daily adventures Fred encounters math, lots of math. New concepts are just part of Fred's life. Time, money, adding things, even geometry (because your elbow can make a right angle) are learned without the sizzler even knowing it. If I were to give him a page of math problems he would have a seizure. Really. I've seen it. So I have to fool him into doing math. It's not math, it's Life of Fred! Works every time.
Now writing is a different story. The sizzler thinks he can't write. He can, you see, but he doesn't like to. He loathes it. He fights and squirms. He does everything he can think of to avoid writing.
Today we learned about the use of "an" before a word that starts with a vowel. No problem. Now write these 3 sentences. It took an hour (ooh, there's an exception to that grammar rule I just taught him!). That's ONE hour. It was painful for him and for me. Now, he spent most of that time not writing. The actual writing process was maybe 5-10 minutes. The rest of the time was the battle. Wears. Me. Out.
Now if I had let him take the day off it would be a much bigger battle tomorrow. Good thing I know better! Well, I guess we'll have to see about that tomorrow.

Got inspiration?

What is inspiration?
It is:
a : a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation
b : the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions

c : the act of influencing or suggesting opinions

But, what does it look like? Where does it come from?

A couple of weeks back I decided to have a fun art day with my sizzler. We had been working hard all week and it was Friday. Perfect idea! Plus, we had just received some new art supplies and a book called Art Lab.
I get so excited when we get new "stuff". It's like instant inspiration. Right?
So, I cleared the dining table and got it all set up for an awesome art session. I looked through the book for a cool idea to try out. The watercolor with salt idea looked fun and easy.
Ok, we're all set. Well, at least I was.

So I called the sizzler in to paint with me. I got all enthusiastic and jumped right in. See how fun this is? He is not convinced. He wants to know where the "real paint" is. Hmmmm, he's not buying what I'm selling here. I kept painting and hummed a happy tune. Then, he took the bait. He picked up the brush, dipped it in the water and grabbed some paint. He dragged the brush across the paper and was instantly unhappy. The paint was not doing what he wanted. It is stupid. It isn't real paint and he doesn't want any part of this art lab. Humph!
Why isn't he inspired? Look at these cool supplies! And this great book with tons of inspiring artists and awesome projects.
He isn't inspired because these things are not speaking to him. He doesn't care about the art I want to do. This is not his idea of fun. He has an idea of making a zombie vampire (what is it with the fascination with zombies?). OK. What do you need to create this zombie vampire?
Real paint!
Oh, that's right. So I pushed aside the watercolors and got out the acrylics. Now he'll be inspired!
He picked up his pencil and began to draw the zombie guy. It wasn't right. Erase. Frustration was bubbling up. I tried to encourage him to not worry about mistakes but to just keep creating. He couldn't. He was hyper focused on what was wrong with his picture.
How about trying some paint? He agreed. He dabbed the brush in and..........

It didn't look right. He was unhappy. He wanted to quit. Me too.
But I didn't. Well, at least not with my own creation. I gave up on trying to get him to do art, for now.
So I continued to create. After all, I was feeling inspired!

A little while later he was curious about what mom was making. Oh, some sort of collage thingy. I don't know yet.
What's a collage? he asks. I explained that it's a mixture of different things in a piece of art. It could have some paint, some drawing, some images that you cut out, whatever you want, really.
His interest is piqued. Maybe he could do this. I see that he was looking inspired so I moved in with my bag of ideas. He'd been looking at pictures of Lego monster fighters in his magazine (including the zombie vampire guy). So I suggested that he draw a cool action scene and cut the guys out and put them in the scene.
Now I'd gotten him! Hook, line and sinker! He wanted to do this. He grabbed his pencil and got to work. He was motivated now baby! He was in his element - drawing - with pencil. Heaven! (Grin)
The sizzler cranked out the background and put the guys in and proceeded to tell me the whole action packed story.
He was happy.
So was mama.
So, I need to remember to not push my inspirations on him. We are inspired by different things.
This

Inspires him to create this

I remember now.
What inspires you?

Wing dinger days

Some days are wing dingers when you're homeschooling a sizzler
Before I go on I must give credit to Carol Barnier for the term "sizzler". She came up with this title for her son after he spit on a hot lightbulb and it exploded. When she asked him why he spit on the lightbulb he replied "I like the sizzle". Oh can I relate!
Carol decided to homeschool this child with ADHD. She wrote some excellent books about homeschooling these amazing kids. My favorite is "How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and on to Learning". In her books you will find ideas that work with these kiddos. They learn differently. They need to move. Many of them are visual spatial learners. My sizzler loves to do math her way. Tossing the bean bag back and forth or jumping on his mini trampoline while reciting his math facts are top picks for him!
Carol also has an awesome website called Sizzle Bop. I have referred to it many a time. She reminds me to enjoy this child and keep a sense of humor. To remember that these kids are extra special and we need to handle them in positive, creative ways. To not expect them to be "normal", whatever that is.

Some days it's hard to enjoy the sizzle. Like when mama's tired or low on patience and admiration for the Darlin'. Yesterday was one of those days.
Usually I can tell from the get go if it's going to be one of those days. Not This time. He was happily playing with Legos when I came out to greet him. But then he didn't want to eat breakfast. Or get dressed. Then he started bouncing off the walls, literally. Along with that there is this verbal nonsense that comes spewing forth with uncontrollable force. Oh dear, fasten your seatbelts ladies and gentlemen we're in for a bumpy ride. It's like trying to control a tornado or a vapor. It just keeps slipping through your fingers. Now, I'm an experienced mom and classroom teacher, but they don't train teachers to control elusive things like vapors!
The scary thing is they know when you can't control them and it adds more fuel to the fire. At that point I have to go make a cup of tea or visit grandma next door or schedule a retreat at a day spa. But when he comes to give me a "huggie" (a run and grab you very tight bear hug), I soften and see the wonderfulness in my boy again.
Now, wing dinger days are not all horrible. There was a bright spot when it was time to give our pet rats a bath. Oh how he loves the rattie tatties! He can be so sweet with the little critters. He was the dryer after I bathed them.

He did, eventually, read his book, do his math and work on his train lapbook. But each one of those took a lot of convincing, cajoling and general frustration (for both of us!)
I guess he was not in his element today.

In his element

Yesterday I started reading Ken Robinson's book " The Element". Sir Ken is an entertaining yet spot on writer. His book profiles several successful folks who did not do well in school. In fact, they were terrible in school and couldn't wait to get out. It seems that they were not valued, or at least the way they were "smart" was not acknowledged or nurtured. He's talking about the artists, musicians, dancers and gymnasts of the world who needed someone to recognize their talents and encourage them on their path.
Schools were set up during the time of the industrial revoltion and designed to create workers for factories. Ken says this is not the case anymore and I couldn't agree more. Ken also says schools kill creativity. Oh boy, that's a big can of worms.
Well, I do have some experience here. I have been a public school teacher and have been guilty of killing creativity. You see, one cannot just allow 24 kids to each explore their own creative ideas. Or can you? I couldn't find a way in the classroom, but I have found a way at home.
My life has done a 180. A few years ago I had a dream to design a school for my son. I got to start that school and even teach in that school. Life was good. But then, it slowly became appparent that this school wasn't working for my child. He wasn't interested in the daily menu at school. He thought it was boring. "I need excitement and adventure," he would tell his teacher (me at the time ;)
"Oh brother!" I thought, life isn't always like that. But then it go so bad I had no other choice but to take leave from my teaching position and bring the little thrill seeker home. I admit that it was hard. I had built this school for him. I had put my heart and soul into it for 3 years. But it wasn't working. We were both miserable.
We've been home for 4 months and I am learning to listen to the child. I still "make" him read, write and do math, but mostly we learn about things that interest him and I let him enjoy the things he loves. One of the ways he expresses himself is through drawing. He will only draw in pencil, no color, and please don't ask him to use watercolor (apparently it's not real paint).
So this morning he was in his element. We have been learning about trains (his request) and he wanted to draw a full length train on butcher paper. Alrighty then! He got right to work before breakfast, wearing his skivvies and one sock. He knew exactly what he wanted to do and got right to work. I never had to ask him to stay on task or cajole him into working. Why? He was in his element. This is his work and he feels totally at home doing it. As he was working he kept calling me over to show me details. "This is the tender, it holds extra coal and water for the steam engine" or "this is the dining car, tanker carrying milk, passenger car, etc". The point is that he was telling me all he knew about trains while in his element. I don't think any standardized test could do that!
I am grateful I can be there to encourage him in his creativity.